Why Do Some Seasons Drag On?

Winter here in Washington has been disappointing; a gray slurry of soggy grass, deep puddles and overcast skies. Even the few days of fluffy white snow quickly hardened into dense layers of ice encasing every square inch of our landscape.

It has been bleak and tiring, even oppressive at times. The abysmal weather just drags on and on.

Tomorrow is the first day of spring but you’d never know it around here with the alternating bouts of frost, snow and rain throughout the last few weeks. While there have been sunny days here and there just long enough for our pale residents to kick off their rain boots, it doesn’t last long and a cold downpour always seems to ruin the weekend.

It feels sometimes like spring will never come and we will always be looking over our shoulder for signs of rain.

It reminds me so much of difficult times I’ve lived through. You let yourself hope and settle into “spring” and then the clouds come rolling in.

You feel like a fool for believing things were going to change. You promise yourself to never be so stupid again.

When you’re going through a difficult season, unpleasant surprises aren’t just annoying, they tax your sanity. You just want to breathe easy and settle into a life where everything is new and warm.

Before I met my husband, I was in a relationship that was riddled with ugly surprises. He betrayed me, but I forgave him and it seemed like he wanted to change. But then my blue skies would darken over and over again as he would often disappear, sometimes selling my things to fund his escapades, other times draining our account.

We were always broke. Everything I couldn’t pay for reminded me of every dollar he stuffed and every woman that lived off those dirty bills.

Having been betrayed so many times, I was weary and I was done. I just wanted a normal life where what I nurtured would grow.  I was done with always waiting for when my bright day would freeze over and life would become cold and slick.

I finally moved on and stop putting my hope in my efforts and God, but in just God.

It was very hard and sometimes I felt very small and alone. But I had a verse that I know God showed me to give me hope and I would read it over and over:

“For your Maker is your husband – the Lord Almighty is his name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit – a wife who married young, only to be rejected….Though the mountains be shaken and the hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:4-6, 10)

Here was my story and God had already prepared for it, just as he did for Israel! He promised long before I was born that he would be my husband and redeemer and even though my world would break to pieces around me, his love would never fail and his promise of peace would never be taken away.

He has and continues to remain true to his word – his love hasn’t failed me and his peace is real.

My life didn’t heal overnight, just like spring doesn’t appear in an instant. There are stages – parts that must melt away, roots that need to strengthen, and even rain to wash away the old grit and nourish the new life that will eventually flourish in the new season.

Things can look hopeless, but I am certain of this: Spring always comes; it just feels like forever sometimes before it does. We just need to trust that while we’re waiting, God has something beautiful in store for our future.

 

Angie D 3/19/12 ©

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1 Comment

  1. Shari

     /  March 19, 2012

    Beautiful truth Angie- thank you for sharing of your own pain. It is a powerful journey and testimony how God became real and personal to you… I just love it! 🙂

    Reply

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